lion Clay pipe bowl
Victorian era. The person who smoked tobacco out of this has been dead for a long time.
TALL SHIP CUFFLINKS
Queen Anna era (1702-1714). FUN FACT: ships are large boats used for transporting people or goods on water.
FUCK OFF HAT
Circa 2024. Possibly Logan Roy’s.
QUEEN MARY HAMMERED SILVER
Mary I groat. Queen Mary, also known as 'Bloody Mary', was the daughter of King Henry VIII, and burnt hundreds of Protestants at the stake. There's something about Mary, and it's violent.
FIRST FIRE BRIGADE EVER
1750-1820, This little sun-faced button tells the story of the world’s first property insurance companies and London’s first fire brigade. I can’t be fucked writing anything else, so Google it.
GOLD
Engraved with ‘Gabriel’, this gold ring was most likely thrown in the river by a jilted partner. With 42% of marriages ending in divorce, this wasn’t a surprise find.
ANAL BEADS
I got up at the crack of dawn for a cheeky mudlark. After stepping onto the foreshore, I bent over and spotted these. It's difficult to date beads found along the brown banks of the Thames, butt I think these are modern. After some thought, I decided to leave them near the hole I pulled them from, so I'll pretty bummed if you think I should've put this treasure in my booty.
NOT ANAL BEADS
I guess any bead could be an anal one though.
BRITISH COPPER COMPANY HALFPENNY TOKEN.
Can't believe I found a coin from the year Keith Richards was born.
MINI WWII SHELL
London has such a rich history. On my way to the foreshore his morning, I stumbled across a miniature shell from the Blitz embedded in the ground.
YOUNG NAPOLEON CLAY PIPE BOWL
Depicted as a young man in the famous painting by Géricault, the young general looks over his troops with determination. I new he was small, but not this tiny.
QUEEN VICTORIA 50-YEAR JUBILEE MEDAL
Celebrating 50 years of her reign between 1837-1857. I’d imagine she’s most likely dead now.
VIKING SWORD
…or machete.
BRASS ADVERTISING PENCIL HOLDER
People used to be so stupid, they put advertisements on metal pencil holders. Still much more useful than a D&AD pencil though.
BUDLARKING
At HIGH tide.
THIMBLE
Before buttons were invented, pins were a BIG deal. Wimps who were afraid of tiny, sharp, pointy metal things, used thimbles.
OLIVER TWIST
Back in the day, children weren’t useless. They were put to work in ‘work houses’, like Oliver Twist. I think all children today should be forcibly made to work.
CARTWHEEL PENNY
This 1797 coin is ridiculously large, which is why it didn’t hang around for long. What the fuck were they thinking? “Let’s make this giant coin worth fuck all”. Idiots.
WWII ANTI-AIRCRAFT SHRAPNEL
People hated planes so much between 1939-1945, that they shot them down for no reason.
PADLOCK
Padlocks are basically just locks. In fact, that’s exactly what they are.
ENCRUSTED SILVER COIN
Rusty metal is basically a gold digger. Well, in this case, a silver digger. Rust sucks.
WOODEN SPOON
When I was a kid, my mum used to threaten to smack me with a wooden spoon. It was much bigger than this one. If you’re experience parental violence, please notify the appropriate authorities.
ACME WHISTLE
You might think the Road Runner and Wile E. Coyote beef was fake, but I found an ACME Corporation whistle that makes you look like a total idiot.
PEW PEW
This bullet is big, but not as big as my footprint. Therefore, my feet would’ve been a more effective weapon against the Nazis.
HENRY VIII HAMMERED SILVER COIN
By all reports, Henry VIII was a bit of a cunt.
SHIT FROM THE
THAMES ESTUARY
As advertised.
VULCANITE BOTTLE STOPPERS
Found exclusively on planet Vulcan, the birthplace of Spock, Vulcanite was used to forge bottle stoppers like these from 1872. Due to the ludicrous cost and logistics of mining this material from a fictional planet, production ceased in the 1970s. Popular for over 100 years, Vulcanite bottle stoppers certainly lived long, but no longer prosper
Cannonballs
Thanks to vast improvements in our diet combined with medical technology advancing in leaps and bounds, we're much taller than we were hundreds of years ago. To put into perspective just how little we were, check out how tiny cannonballs used to be. Some say they’re actually musket balls. Absolute derps.
FABULOUS SHERIFF’S BADGE
…or potentially costume jewellery.
Monogrammed CUFFLINK
Whoever ‘O.M.’ was, he was narcissistic enough to personalise his own cufflinks. Wanker.